The Giving of Gifts and Other Sweet Things

Accepting the unavoidable

Dear feline friend,

Gifts. Why do I give gifts to a man I like? Because even if the guy doesn't reciprocate my feelings, I like the idea that he now owns something from --- me!

It gives me great satisfaction to know that in his dwelling, his room, his personal space, there lies the gift that I gave him. If I can't be there, my gift can.

But be careful, feline friend. There are good well-chosen gifts that will stay on his shelf, hopefully in the recesses of his mind.  Then there are gifts that might be re-gifted come Christmastime or quietly put into storage.

Here are my rules for gift-giving to the man of the moment:

1. Don't give things that are a matter of personal taste.

E.g. perfume, clothes, books, or art, unless you know *exactly* what his taste is in these things. If he wears cologne by Armani, then get him that exact scent. Nothing by Davidoff or Dolce & Gabbana even if that's the hottest thing.

Ditto for clothes and all the rest of it. Chocolates and other sweets bought from when you went on vacation are safe bets, because you probably bought them for other people back home too.

2. Until you know who his favourite writers are, what gadgets turn him on, what candy he likes to chew on, don't go down there.

You're wasting your money and your time trawling the book shelves or the candy store trying to figure out what will appeal. The truth is, we women don't know until we know the man fairly well. And checking up his Facebook page might reveal a thing or two about his favourite things, but then again, not much. It's pretty much an illusion.

I'm recalling what I used to give men when I fell for them. But then again, I didn't give them stuff that meant a lot to me until I knew how they felt about me too.

If feelings were mutual, I would then give them from my strengths, from where my heart lay. It could be a snazzy-looking card with well-chosen words, a handmade card with well-chosen words, a photograph signed at the back (much more romantic), something along those lines.

Back then, I wasn't a sophisticated shopper with a big disposable income like today, and I gave them what I personally cherished most: My time and my talent.

So if you want to give gifts, keep it light and preferably, funny. If not, just let it be tasty.